Hello
by hipsterr.primadonna
Summary: Songfic: Hello, by Evanescence. Raven gets visited by her emotions and learns something she didn't know about herself. And who is there to witness it all? Read to find out! Please read, I suck at summaries. First fanfiction! Rated T for language.


**A/N: Okay, so, this'll probably be a piece of shit, I write it in an hour, from 3 in the morning to 4 in the morning, amd I am not really sure of the quality of it. I know that the song does not have anything to do with relationships, and that the convoluted way of me thinking that it fit may not settle well with all of you. But I tried. First fanfic, and here we go!**

I was perfectly at peace. Perfectly.

But then _he_ came in.

"Hey, Raven," Beast Boy said, loudly. He'd been barging into my room more often than usual. Usually, I would have told him to leave—had a fit—but lately, I didn't have the will. I didn't have the strength.

_Playground school bell rings again_

_Rain clouds come to play again_

_Has no one told you she's not breathing?_

"Hm?" I hummed in a monotone. I sounded tired.

"Well, I was just wondering, could you… y'know, come out with everyone? It's like you're always in here, and it can't be fun."

I heaved a heavy sigh. "No, Beast Boy, I can't. I'm behind on my meditation."

"Please, Raven?"

"No."

"Please—"

"Beast Boy, I said no."

His face fell, but he was silent.

I looked up at him from under the hood of my cloak. "You can leave now."

He turned to walk, quite dejectedly, out of my room. His ears drooped; I could feel the rejection emanating off of him in waves—it made me feel almost a little guilty. I took a deep breath, and was back to my meditation.

_Hello, I'm your mind,_

_Giving you someone to talk to._

_Hello._

I sat in silence, mentally chanting the mantra that was the only thing that calmed me down. The irrational emotions in my head all said something else—something only more farfetched than the last. There was no point in me allowing my heart to affect my head. It was idiotic to let yourself feel. I learned that the hard way, with Malchior.

'**Oh, bullshit.'**

'Wha—Courage? What the hell?!'

'**You think we believe that shit?'**

'What shit?'

'**That, "oh, I never feel anything anymore, I don't let myself become influenced by feeling," **_**blah**_**, it's bullshit.'**

'It's not bullshit. It's reality. It's what keeps me calm and sane.'

'**Exactly. Bullshit.'**

'Look, you get back where you belong.'

'**I am where I belong.'**

'What the hell do you want from me?'

_If I smile and don't believe_

_Soon, I know, I'll wake from this dream._

_Don't try to fix me. I'm not broken._

'**We're tired of being silenced.'**

I snorted inwardly. 'You? You're just not strong enough to express yourself.'

'**Me? Or you?'**

'Pardon?' Great, now I was confusing myself. Lovely.

'**I'm too weak to express myself? You're too weak to **_**let**_** me express myself.'**

'What do you mean?'

'**What I mean is that you don't let any of us ever have any fun. Why do you hide us? Are you ashamed of us—'**

'Yes, in fact. I am quite ashamed of you.'

'—**or are you just ashamed of yourself?'**

_Hello, I'm the lie,_

_Living for you so you can hide._

_Don't cry._

My jaw dropped. 'No, I—I just can't—'

'**You're just hiding us because of the bad we could do,' **Knowledge butted in. I nodded. **'But… what about the good we could do? Does everything we do have to be all bad?'**

'I can't let myself lose control.'

Rage interjected, **'You don't know what it's like to lose control, Raven.'**

'Yes, I do!'

'**Ah, she's got it!'** Happy bantered.

"_What do you want from me?!"_ I screamed aloud. My eyes were burning with what felt like tears—I was no longer familiar with them. "Why can't you just leave me alone?!"

'**Because you need our influence,'** a new emotion said calmly. **'You need **_**my**_** influence.'**

"And why are you important?!" I yelled again. I couldn't help it. "Who are you?"

There was a moment of inner peace, of silence, before…

'**I'm Love.'**

My eyes widened. "No… I thought I got rid of you." I was still talking out loud, but I was not in a state to care.

'**No. I've never been here before.'**

"But… with Malchior, I—"

'**That wasn't love.'**

"Then… who?" I was vaguely aware of a prescence in the room with me, although I didn't know who—or what—it was. Tears were flowing down my cheeks without abandon, and my throat felt thick, like I was choking on myself.

'**Who do you think?'**

"Why do you think I asked you? I don't know." I heard footsteps crossing the room. I hunched my shoulders when I felt something touch me. Someone was jiggling me, softly at first, calling my name. I knew the voice, but was too preoccupied to put a face and name to it.

'**Who's been there?'**

"I don't know, dammit! Why can't you leave me be?!" I was yelling again. I was now being shaken wildly. I could hear my name being called through the haze of my mind. Whoever it was, the person was soft…

'**I think you do, Raven, dearie. You just don't want to face it.'**

"Face _what?!_"

'**That you're in love with Beast Boy.'** Love's voice was smug, if not a little condescending-sounding.

There was nothing, absolutely nothing but the incessant calling… I was being jostled so roughly that I was actually in physical pain. I was silent.

Were they right?

_Suddenly, I know I'm not sleeping._

_Hello, I'm still here,_

_All that's left of yesterday._

I looked up numbly, finding the person holding my shoulders in a vice-like grip. I was sure that I was going to have bruises, but I couldn't have cared less.

Beast Boy.

'**You know what to do, kid!'** Courage called out to me.

"Raven?" Beast Boy asked, appearing relieved at my sudden attentiveness.

"Yes, Beast Boy?" I replied.

"Are… are you okay, Raven? I mean… you were yelling for a good ten minutes…"

"Yes, I'm fine." I said with a smile. It felt good to smile.

He grinned back at me, almost nervously, tentatively. "Are you certain?"

"Absolutely." I was wearing a cheesy smile, so wide that it was killing my jaws, but I didn't care.

"Raven? Why so happy?"

Because I love you.

"I don't really know."

He was quiet for a while, something I wasn't used to.

No, talk, I want to hear your voice.

"You know, Raven, you're really pretty when you smile."

Oh, God, I love you.

I blushed, pulling my hood back over my head. He pushed it down again.

I love you.

"Raven?"

I love you. "Hmm?"

"Well, I—"

"I love you, Beast Boy."

"What…?"

"I said, I—"

My words were cut off by lips being settled upon mine with enough force to move mountains. A nearby lamp exploded, but I didn't care. For a second, I could be normal.

For a second, I could live.


End file.
